I’m writing to you from beyond parenthood. You are fours years in and haven’t totally lost your marbles, so I thought it was time to share some of the things I’ve learned about myself, I mean you, well both really. I know you are sitting there at the age of 35 wondering if you will ever hold a baby of your own in your arms. Several years of trying and one little loss have dampened your hope, but fear not, soon enough you’ll be packing your hospital bag and trying to work out how a pram will fit through the front door! Things are going to change! Big time!! Life will involve a lot more happy meals and ballet classes and a lot less gourmet meals and spin classes.
Right now you have so much time for material goods, new clothes, designer bags, the latest makeup. After becoming a mum you will still love all these things, You will just have a lot less cause to use designer bags and the latest makeup! Treat yourself to that Mulberry now, you may not get another chance. Don’t think too much about the fact that for the first two years of your child’s life you carry a huge, heavy changing bag and have no need for Mulberry. But just to satisfy that little label itch that you have, buy the Baba Bing satchel. Not nearly as beautiful as the Mulberry but you can fit way more nappies in it. A much more practical purchase.
Your outlook will change enormously when your baby comes along. They will become everything! In ways that you can’t imagine now. I’m having a wee laugh to myself when I think of how naive you are, you’re probably reading this thinking a little baby will simply fit in with us! The reality is very different. Impromptu anythings will be a thing of the past. You and Liam will become slaves to the ‘routine’. You guys are pretty structured people anyway, but I do remember setting the alarm for 3.00am to feed our baby just in case they didn’t wake for their feed. I mean, really?? Enjoy your sleep woman, they’ll wake you when they needs fed!
Slow down, savour it all. I never realised that a walk to the shops could be full of intrigue and discovery. It may take a lot longer to get to where you’re going, but you see so much more. You chat to people you would normally not even notice. You smell flowers. You jump in puddles rather than avoiding them. You take it all in. You will meet so many people that otherwise would still be strangers and discovered things and places that you would never think to explore now. Your child will teach you a thing or two about being outgoing and sociable.
With all of these things will come a more contented you. A you who is happy to be herself and not hold back anymore. A you who wants to show your little one that they can be whatever they want to be. A you who doesn’t need brands and things to validate herself (still love them, still use them, but not defined by them anymore). A you who cares a lot less about what the outside world thinks and a lot more about what is going on around our dinner table every evening. A you who accepts that we may never be a family of four or more, but as three we are content. A you (and a me) who knows what is important to our little family.
The side note to all of the above is that motherhood isn’t easy. It isn’t all play dates and picnics (they do feature of course). It isn’t what I expected. Not even close. It’s different, but so much better in so many ways.
Oh and good luck with the hyperemesis, it’s a killer!
The Storybook Mummy xxx