A Letter to my Pre-Parent Self - Clare Rimmer - Mums NI - A Hub For Parents in Northern Ireland

A Letter to my Pre-Parent Self - Clare Rimmer

A Letter to my Pre-Parent Self - Clare Rimmer

A Letter to my Pre-Parent Self - Clare Rimmer
Clare Rimmer
Written by Clare Rimmer on Wednesday, 19 September 2018 Posted in: A Letter to my Pre-Parent Self
A Letter to my Pre-Parent Self - Clare Rimmer
  • Northern Ireland Musical Theatre Summer Camp Ad
    Aged 11-17 and love performing? Join our Northern Ireland Musical Theatre Summer Camp to learn from the best in the industry and discover Tony Macaulay's second memoir Breadboy!
    Act, sing and dance under the guidance of industry pros!
    https://britishyouthmusictheatre.org/take-part/courses/northern-ireland-summer-camp-2019-breadboy
    BYMT's Northern Ireland Musical Theatre Summer Camp is the perfect opportunity for you to develop your acting, singing and dancing skills with leading practitioners in the industry - all while having FUN! Plus all participants will get a Grade 6 certification from Trinity College London! Victoria College Belfast | 12 -17 August | Don't miss out - BOOK NOW!

clair rimmer

To my pre-parent self,

I don’t want to panic you but…

Motherhood will turn you into an anxiety ridden worrier! I can remember vividly a dream I hadwhen I was heavily pregnant with my first daughter in which I was in a total state of panic. The babywas coming and I hadn’t finished reading, ‘What to Expect When You Are Expecting’. I wasn’t ready!I hadn’t read all the information yet. This pretty much summed up the first 6 months for me. I wasconstantly worrying that I wasn’t doing things the right way and couldn’t understand why the stepsin another well-known baby management book had not led to my child sleeping through the night. Iwas striving for perfection - something I have always done in my academic and work life butstruggling to mirror this when it came to caring for a mini human.

If I was doing it all again I would throw all those books out the window and go with the flow a bitmore. No one is ever the perfect parent and no one’s child is perfect either. Motherhood continuesto make me anxious today as my eldest child turns 14. The worries are slightly different. Will she fall prey to an online predator? Am I a rubbish parent as I lost the plot when she spilt nail varnish onthe carpet? Am I doing enough to help her with her school work? I’m really not sure the teenage years are any easier than the baby and toddler years! However, you will learn to accept that the worry is part of being a mother. If you didn’t worry about them you wouldn’t be human. Worryingis as natural a feeling as the love you feel for them.

If I could step back in time and give myself a good talking to I would say: This will be tough, you will doubt yourself every day but it will all be worth it. Embrace your friendships, especially the ones you have with other mums. Prepare to lose your cool. You wouldn’t be human if you didn’t find yourself stamping your feet in frustration from time to time. Enjoy every minute of the years in which they think you are totally awesome! These memories will see you through your ‘uncool’ years.Your music tastes, your style, singing along to the radio and dancing – all of these will be judged by your teenager as highly embarrassing.

Finally if my pre-parent self is listening I would say - Parenting books can be useful but if the rules don’t work for you then throw them out and don’t sweat it! Life is too short to be worrying unnecessarily about things you can’t change. Enjoy the giggles, cuddles and smiles and tell anxiety it can wait for something more important.

Love Clare xx

Tagged with: advice for stressed mums, advice forum for mums, family life, mums mental health, pre parent self

Further Reading

A Letter to my Pre-Parent Self - Angela McCann
A Letter to my Pre-Parent Self

A Letter to my Pre-Parent Self - Angela McCann

Created on: Wednesday, 29 August 2018 Angela McCann
Angela McCann

Dear Angela, I’m writing to you from beyond parenthood. You are fours years in and haven’t totally lost your marbles, so I thought it was time to share some of the things I’ve learned about myself, I mean you, well both really. I know...

Read More

A Letter to my Pre-Parent Self - Samara Prentice
A Letter to my Pre-Parent Self

A Letter to my Pre-Parent Self - Samara Prentice

Created on: Wednesday, 22 August 2018 Samara Prentice
Samara Prentice

Dear Samara, I am sorry to tell you this but you’re about to change.  In fact, 7 years from now you’ll be unrecognisable.  I know at the moment you don’t think that is possible.  But trust me when I say this change is for the...

Read More

Help others find this by sharing:

Leave a comment

Please login to leave a comment. Optional login below.

Log In

mumsni

mumsni

mumsni

mumsni

mumsni

mumsni

mumsni

mumsni

mumsni

mumsni

mumsni

mumsni

Copyright ©2019 Mums NI. All rights Reserved.

Registered Address: Floor 2, The Warehouse, 7 James Street South, Belfast. BT6 8DN