Rebuilding your confidence after starting a family

These feelings are completely natural.  And you are certainly not alone.  Believe me when I say that every single one of your friends have felt overwhelmed after becoming a mum or adding to their family.  

I think it is fair to say that we all lose our identity at some point in our lives.  As women, we are constantly evolving but never more so than when we start a family.  We become everyone to everybody, we are constantly supporting and championing others and very quickly we find ourselves at the very bottom of our own priority list.  

Coupled with a shift in our life dynamic, we are juggling new commitments, nurturing relationships  and learning to love and dress a new body shape.  The journey through motherhood is an absolute minefield.

This is one of the reasons why I created Evolve by Samara Personal Styling Consultancy.  Believe me when I say that I never imagined I would be the mother of 4 children.  I have lost count of how many times I have lost my own identity during my parenting journey and I have met so many women, along the way, who have echoed the same sentiments.  So back in 2016, I went to London to train as a personal stylist and colour analyst with a vision of offering affordable styling solutions and rebuilding the confidence of the women I work with.  

There is no denying that ‘me time’ is in short supply as a mum but there is absolutely nothing wrong with investing in yourself from time to time.  Decreased body confidence is cited as one of the most common issues faced by mums in the UK.   And it is often the single most complaint of my styling clients.

Sadly, it is estimated that 1 in 4 of us will suffer from postnatal depression during our journey through motherhood.  So looking after yourself and your mental health is invaluable.  After all, you are the linchpin that is holding your little family together and you are just as important as those tiny dependent humans.  

So here is some top tips for rebuilding confidence and loving the new version of you.

1. Dress for your lifestyle and be comfortable.  Invest in well fitting clothes that you love and make you feel good.  Don’t be pressurised into buying trends, instead dress to flatter your body shape.
2. Embrace colour.  This is a really clever tool, especially if you are surviving on 4 hours sleep each night.  Wearing colours that truly compliment your natural complexion will make you look fresh faced, will enhance your features and most importantly, make you feel good. 
3. Have a bra fitting, ideally around week 12 and every 6 months thereafter.  80% of us are wearing the wrong bra size. You don’t have to buy in a wide range of colours, instead invest in black and nude.
4. Accessories can really elevate the most mundane outfit.  So add in statement necklaces, printed scarves or an edgy pair of shoes and let the accessories do the talking.  
5. Finances can be tight so set yourself a budget and stick to it.  Consider booking a session with a personal stylist to really boost your confidence.  There is an initial outlay but a good stylist will provide you with invaluable styling tools that will save you both time and money.

And finally, be kind to yourself, every single day.  Understand that some days you’ll thrive and other days you will simply survive.  Try to embrace your new life and stop longing for the girl you once were and stop dreaming of the girl who you will be in 6 months time, once you’ve lost those final pounds.  Be proud of the girl you are RIGHT NOW.  The beautiful mum who has grown a baby, or maybe two or three.  And as you embark on this new chapter of your life remember that life will never be the same again but in the best possible way.  

Tagged with: advice forum for mums, family life, having a baby, mums fashion, mums self confidence, postnatal depression, pregnancy

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