Parenthood is a wonderful thing. We all get handed our little bundles of joy and a handbook detailing what we are to do with our new addition in order to achieve parental perfection resulting in familial bliss. Huh?! You didn’t get THE HANDBOOK? Whatever do you mean? How on earth are you coping?
Guess what . . . I didn’t get one either! But it seems a lot of others did.
You see, I’ve noticed an increasing amount of posts on social media recently where someone will post something along the lines of: “I was at the shops today and there was this child having a tantrum, screaming and kicking and throwing things out of the trolley. My two kids would never get on like that” and I think to myself good for you, here take this golden star. She must have got her handbook. For all she knows the child she was referring to may have been having an off day. She just happened to get a glimpse of it and assumed this was the child's natural demeanour. The child could have had autism and was reacting to their surroundings. It could have been a whole host of things to be honest. But never fear, Perfect Mum was there to judge.
I have a naturally loud child. She has a sensory seeking behaviour and can’t stay still. I am aware that she is a few (lots) decibels above what others call acceptable. I am used to it. I am also in a position to control her loud outbursts when we are out in a restaurant by offering her a device. Oh the shock that I give my child a nintendo DS, or my phone, or her leappad at the dinner table!
When she was 4 we took her to a family restaurant. Halfway through our meal she was starting to get restless and I knew if I didn’t act quick there would be mayhem. I gave her an iPad. At the table across from us sat a couple out for a meal. Childless. They couldn’t believe their eyes that we gave our child an ipad. The looks were unbelievable. So I piped up and said to them “I could just let her go wild and ruin all our meals”. They didn’t look back again. They will be the type to be you know, Super Parents.
Then there’s those who will always have something to say about children playing with toys that are deemed suitable only for the opposite sex. I’m talking about boys playing with dolls and girls playing with trucks. Come on! I read a status where someone was giving off about another Mum who was allowing her son to ask Santa for My Little Ponies. He was 3! Apparently it’s “not right” to let kids play with toys they like. They must play with toys that society feels is right for them. I call BS on this theory. I have a 7 year old who loves all things pink, fluffy and cute. She also loves all things Minecraft and Batman. Her favourite colour is black. I have a 2 year old son who loves his sister’s baby doll. He feeds and nurses her. He also loves dinosaurs and Mario. Both of my children are very happy and seem pretty much comfortable with their likes, as am I. But go ahead and give that Judgy Mummy her star too because she’s also been reading her handbook.
I am just wondering when the era of judging others’ parental skills became the norm? Instead of jumping on Facebook to broadcast about a child having a meltdown and boast that yours would never do such a thing (here’s your star) why not offer the other Mum a kind glance of support, a smile and have a bit of empathy.
Does Super Mum exist? Yes, yes she does. We are all Super Mums doing what is best for our own individual families. Super Mums are the ones helping to build others up, not judging and tearing them down.
Parenthood doesn’t come with a handbook, but if it did it would be great.
Be a Super Mum.Tagged with: advice for stressed mums, advice forum for mums, family life, mums mental health