We can’t control what happens in life. Only death and taxes are certain. It’s all about keeping your head down and working hard to keep the “wolf from the door”. But; what if it didn’t have to be like that? What if, all of this was in fact a lie?
I’m offering a different perspective. I believe, in fact, I KNOW that we are the creators of our own reality and that every single thing we are and have experienced is by design, our design. Life isn’t supposed to be a struggle; it’s should fun; filled with joy and love. How do I know? Let me explain.
I have cerebral palsy which means I use a wheelchair. For much of my life I fought against being “disabled”. I pushed myself to the absolute limit to prove that I was not what people expected me to be. This steely determination served me well; I graduated from university, did 2 skydives, travelled, got married and have 2 amazing children.
The flip side was not such a positive one. I was angry with myself and the world and I battled chronic pain, anxiety and depression. I was constantly on edge and fighting to be seen and heard for who I really was. I went from one argument to another and felt like the whole world was out to get me.
I lost my first baby in 2015 after a 3 year struggle to conceive. Further proof I decided, that I was not meant to be happy, the universe had it in for me. Then came the breakthrough. When I was pregnant for the second time, I experienced chronic pregnancy sickness. I worked through the sickness as long as I could; I refused to give in. I made a pact with my unborn son that I was willing to be as sick as necessary if he grew strong and made it into the world. The old wives’ tale of sick mother, healthy baby had to be true, right?
In desperation I went for energy healing. After 2 appointments, sickness, which had been present for 6 ½ months was gone. I was eating, drinking and sleeping better than I ever had. More than that though, something within me had changed. It’s difficult to describe energy healing but I do need to say that throughout, the healer never actually touched me. When I read up about it, I realised, my body had done the work itself. Our bodies can heal themselves. From here I embarked on a magical journey of daily practices that I want to share with you.
Meditation I meditate multiple times each day. Strange you might think with 2 small children in the house and a busy life? Meditation is not about wearing a flowy kaftan and sitting cross-legged on a mountain top. It’s about taking time to breathe and quiet my mind. Get out of my head with all the self-doubt and stress and connect with my heart, where the real truth lies. It’s also about being fully present as much as possible throughout the day. So rather than breastfeeding my baby and mentally writing a to do list or scrolling mindlessly through social media on my phone; I simply feed my baby. I gaze into her beautiful big blue eyes as she wraps her chubby little hand around my finger. I thank God and the universe for the amazing gift that she is and marvel that my body can grow and feed such a breath-taking miracle. Spot the difference?
This brings me to the next golden nugget. Gratitude Dr Wayne Dywer said “When you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
When I dropped the anger and the war within me and began to love and appreciate myself; the struggle in my external world started to drop away too. I wasn’t putting on my imaginary boxing gloves every morning so I didn’t have to fight my way through the day.
I started writing down 3 things that I was grateful for each day. I thought I’d quickly run out of things to be grateful for but the thing is; when you look at life through a filter of gratitude, you see more and more things to be grateful for! The carpet under my feet in the morning, my delicious cup of coffee to the soundtrack of my son giggling at his favourite cartoon; I’m grateful for all of it.
Even the pains and aches, I’m grateful because they remind me of the reality I have left behind when this was constant. It’s now usually a sign that I haven’t been taking proper care of myself.
Biggest of all, was the realisation that my beliefs and words are creative. For many years I despised myself. I believed I had to fight to prove my worth to the world and to myself so this is exactly what the universe dished up for me; lack, aggression, disappointment and despair.
It’s said when parenting a toddler “what you pay attention to, you get more of”. The universe is a toddler! Instead of focusing on and talking about what I don’t want in my life; I speak about what I want.
I felt sick every time my bank statement or a bill arrived through the door and I was constantly saying “I’d love to do that but I’m skint” The universe heard “skint” and dished up more skint. Now I pay my bills with gratitude for the service that has been provided and knowing deep down that I have everything I need and in fact much more than many people. With this mindset life is much more enjoyable and I am continually amazed by the opportunities and experiences that are presented to me.
In my last pregnancy where I dropped the belief that in order for my baby to be healthy, I had to be sick, guess what? I didn’t have any sickness throughout the pregnancy.
I now see that my disability is a gift and my life experience is something that I can use to inspire others to overcome challenges and live a life of their dreams. I no longer beat myself up for not being “enough.” I think, if this was my best friend going through this, what would I say to them?
When we become our own best friend, the universe rushes to applaud us and work with us. That’s when the real magic happens.Tagged with: advice for mums, how to practise self care, self care, what does self care mean, what is self care, what self care means to me